casualcynic:

So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.

This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.

Filed under things I will do when I’m rich.

gallifreyan-stories:

pterodactuality:

rosainfiore:

fulminata2:

morrissarty:

aspidelaps:

flygex-eatin-on-softies:

i-am-my-own-division:

stalkingstalkerthatstalks:

thetimetravelersguidetothegalaxy:

purrplekat1989:

yadelah:

blktauna:

cwnerd12:

thedailymeme:

Over-Educated Problems

but the costuming is so historically inaccurate

The armour is from oddly mixed locations and periods..

Exactly what kind of Native American tribe is this suppose to be?

The subtitles on your foreign bad guys aren’t what they’re actually saying.

That didn’t happen for another two years…

THAT OBJECT IS NOT FLAMMABLE

BUT THE VOLCANO WOULDN’T HAVE ERUPTED THAT QUICKLY WTF

JUST BECAUSE A SNAKE IS MOVING DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT’S RATTLING THAT’S NOT EVEN A RATTLESNAKE GOD DAMN.

THOSE AREN’T THE RIGHT FANGS THAT’S NOT WHERE THE TONGUE GOES THEY DON’T MAKE THAT NOISE THAT IS A CAT HISS THAT’S MADE OUT OF LIKE 3 SPECIES THAT ISN’T HOW HEAT PITS WORK THEY CAN’T DO THAT WITH THEIR TONGUE HOW DO YOU GET SOMETHING THAT IS JUST A HEAD ON A BODY SO WRONG

tigers don’t yowl like cats goddamn that bird does not make that noise YOU CANNOT TALK TO EACH OTHER WHILE YOU’RE FREEFALLING AT TERMINAL VELOCITY SHOOTING AT A PARKED CAR DOES NOT MAKE IT EXPLODE THAT PIECE OF WOOD IS LIKE ONE CENTIMETRE THICK IT”S NOT GOING TO STOP A BULLET

GUNS DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! SWORDS DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! ARMOUR DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT! THAT’S IT! I’M REVOKING YOUR WEAPON PRIVILEGES!

NO WHY WOULD YOU PUT A TWIST OF LEMON IN YOUR CAFE LATTE THAT WILL JUST CURDLE THE MILK NO STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU’RE MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

WHY IS EVERYONE WHITE WHEN IT’S SET IN A PREDOMINATELY NON-WHITE AREA

NO THIS COMPLETELY CONTRADICTS THE EARLIER FILMS. BAD SEQUEL, BAD!

THOSE BULLETS ARE BLANKS! WHERE IS YOUR BATTLE BUDDY?!?! JUST PUT A FUCKING TOURNIQUET ON IT AND HE WONT DIE!! HOW ABOUT YOU ASK SOMEONE IN CHARGE IF YOU SHOULD DO YOUR BAD IDEA?! I DON’T CARE WHAT KIND OF MONSTER IT IS, THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED IT! YOU’RE ALREADY OUT OF ROUNDS! I COUNTED!!

I’m naked in my bed, and I’m tempted to go out into my back yard like this and stand in the rain for a little while.

plot-twists:

Messages on okcupid straight-out asking for me to have an affair with them. 

You have set, like no bullshit, the absolute benchmark for staggeringly awe-inspiring comebacks. 

smilefranki:

dalekslovetoeatpeanutbutter:

aro-rusco:

It’s astounding

Time is fleeting

Madness takes its toll

But listen closely

Not for very much longer

I’ve got to keep control

I remember

Doing the Time Warp

Drinking those moments when

The blackness would hit me

And the void would be calling

Let’s do the time warp again

Let’s do the time warp again

It’s just a jump to the left

And then a step to the riiight

With your hands on your hips

You bring your knees in tiiight

But it’s the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insaaane

Let’s do the time warp again

Let’s do the time warp again

It’s so dreamy

Oh fantasy free me

So you can’t see me

No not at all

In another dimension

With voyeuristic intention

Well-secluded, I see all

With a bit of a mind flip

You’re into the time slip

And nothing can ever be the same

You’re spaced out on sensation

Like you’re under sedation

Let’s do the time warp again

Let’s do the time warp again

Well, I was walking down the street

Just having a think

When a snake of a guy

Gave me an evil wink

Well it shook me up

It took me by surprise

He had a pick-up truck

And the devil’s eyes

He stared at me

And I felt a change

Time meant nothing

Never would again

Let’s do the time warp again

Let’s do the time warp again

It’s just a jump to the left

And then a step to the riiight

With your hands on your hips

You bring your knees in tiiight

But it’s the pelvic thrust

That really drives you insaaane

Let’s do the time warp again

Let’s do the time warp again

~** inspired by **~

~** daftwithoneshoe **~

I’m done, found the best post on the internet 

Where was this during Halloween?!

I don’t care if I just clogged up your dash because fuck you that is the coolest thing I have found on tumblr to date.

(Source: nonlinear-nonsubjective)

olenna-redwyne:

Sad Cat Diaries (x)

highfunctioningdarklordofall:

farwin:

hoplophilia:

Dragon’s Breath is a very gorgeous type of opal made into many types of jewelry.

They look like gateways to other dimensions… :O

That top left one looks like it’s plotting to take over Middle Earth

In today’s installment of nostalgia inducing music.